confidence, mojo & tango
Confidence is such a great thing to have. Too bad it's not sold at convenience stores, you know, so you could stop pick up some when you're low. A few days ago I went to a practica and the teachers that taught some workshops during the weekend were there. Since the only follower not dancing already was the teacher, I asked her to practice with me (note that I did not say "asked her to dance with me"). She obliged and off we went.
Now, while still a beginner as it's not even a year since I started, I'm a pretty good dancer. How do I know this? Well, I can feel it and besides, there are quite a few skilled followers out there that asked me for dances more then once. But for whatever reason I could not lead this teacher to save my life. Forget about fancy moves, front ochos didn't work ... I've seen her dance with many people and she's a teacher for crying out loud, so I know it's not her. I suspect she was on purpose not making it easy for me so I can work on my lead, posture and form (all of which need a lot of work) and I always said, at a practica, followers should not "help" leaders, as they will never learn how to lead unless they see what works and what doesn't.
But, those 5 or 6 dances killed my confidence for most of the evening, and even when I got to practice/dance with women I always danced well with, I was well below my level. So now I question my conviction that followers should not assist leaders at all. Because if they get intimidated or frustrated, their dance quality will get even lower then it usually is. So what's the correct answer you may ask? I don't know. But I'm thinking, if you are dancing with someone and you want to help, maybe it would make more sense to pick ONE thing you think they need to work on and assist with that, while "helping out" when they make unrelated mistakes. This way, it's more likely they will improve on that particular thing and still enjoy the process.
What do you think?
4 comments:
I find with men, they are quite fragile, even if they are asking your opinion on how they dance, they really don´t want to know, because it seems if you even gently tell them one thing, they run away and never ask you to dance again.
Men asking you about their dance technique is the equivalent of a woman asking "Do I look fat in this dress?"
That's quite sad I think (men not being able to handle feedback). Stupid egos ...
So, I should not say what I think when I'm asked "Do I look fat in this dress?" Maybe THAT is why I'm still single ....
next time say..."honey you look so hot in that dress, it makes me want to rip it off your body right now!" and then you proceed to destroy the dress...she´s happy your happy everybody is happy!
Sorin,
I learned something very important in the last several days. Once you've truly nailed down the basics, and I mean really and truly, not just technique and skill but musicality and getting used to leading women and being very comfortable with dancing with women then everything else will follow. I've seen the most simple and basic of tango loaded, absolutely loaded with musicality and character. I think to work on your confidence, you need to keep it simple until women are running up to dance with you even if you only did giros and ocho cortadoes. Then from there, learn the next new step, nail it. Then the next, repeat. Women love to dance with men who are very confident, far more than dancing with men who know advanced stuff but don't accompany those technical skills with warmth, passion and sincere love of having a woman in their arms. Trust me on this! Iºve yet to meet a woman who would say otherwise.
Post a Comment