Too good for your own good?
This post debates the wisdom of perpetually trying to improve one's ability to dance tango.
A while ago someone told me she doesn't want to get too good (at tango). When she saw the perplexed expression on my face, she explained that she lives in a small community and if she got too good she would not be able to enjoy dancing in her community anymore. At the time I thought it was just silly, but I'm not so sure anymore.
As I got better, the number of people I enjoy dancing with reduced dramatically. Most people's experiences seem to be the same. So one can't stop wondering, will the list get smaller and smaller as one gets better and better? There are a few people I know, all reputed to be fantastic dancers, whom I've only seen dancing with just a handful of people. It seems like anyone else just doesn't do it for them anymore. So, why try to get there?
One can argue that if you are better, you can appreciate the subtleties of tango. True, but I still remember my first "tango high" I had when I was about 9 months into tango, and I remember the last one I had. While the level of dancing was certainly higher on the last one, the intensity of it was similar. The only difference is that now I require dancing of much higher quality to get "high". But the quality of the "high" itself was pretty much the same.
I can see one benefit of getting better, more of the good dancers will dance with you. But if one is already at the point where most good dancers will dance with you, what is the point of getting even better?
The big question is, is there a point of diminishing returns in one's tango development ?
8 comments:
No, no, no, don’t ever stop!
We have to get better and better!
I think I know what you and that girl are talking about, it happened to me too. It is true that you will encounter frustration at one point, but trying to help others get better and dancing later with them, will bring you more joy and satisfaction! This is how I do!
Once I realized I don’t have any leader to dance with, for several reasons (they left the town, they quit for a wile, etc.)! So I said, we have to help the beginners to improve. So I did, and in our small community, there are more than 5 leaders I really enjoy to dance with! It’s a long and hard way, with ups and downs, but it works!!! Really! Trust me! An there is a nice reward …
Maybe I should add that this is more of an "academical" discussion for me, as I am personally not in danger to get "too good" (whatever that may mean) any time soon ;)
I don't really agree with this statement, because if you are outgrowing your community, then that means that you are not helping to build your community. We all need to learn and grow, some may not want to, and that is their choice. But many do want to. And helping those whose abilities/levels/what-have-you are lower than ours means that they will improve and either come up to our level or even surpass us! And then you have a very good dancer who is appreciative of your help in their learning. Not a bad thing to have. :-)
Maybe I should (try to) clarify the purpose of the post further.
This not about me, I'm not asking for opinions or encouragement to continue to grow as a tango dancer.
I just want to know if people think there a point of diminishing returns, and if there is, what is that point for each person (who decided to comment).
Or maybe someone wants to challenge the premises (after a point, as one gets better the number of people who they dance with reduces, or the face that the happiness produced by a "tango moment" is not increased by the skill level).
hmmm, i've sort of stopped getting 'better' but i'm getting 'deeper' and as i do i can invite partners to go with me with more authority. if they come with me in a basic connection i can assert my vision of the music and even the most basic steps lead to a dance we both enjoy a lot.
OK - so after our conversation this morning.... Let me clarify what I meant. I disagree with the woman who stated that she did not want to get better in fear of outgrowing her community. That to me is like saying I don't want to learn too much for fear of being smarter than my friends... does not make sense to me.
So.... to address the questions specifically that you asked. Since that was the exercise... ;-P
Does the circle you enjoy dancing with get smaller as you get better? Of course. That is the truth with most endeavors. Most people look at it as a hobby or an enjoyable evening out. Not everyone is going to become tango obsessed.
Why try to get better? If you want to be good at what you do, then you apply yourself. If you don't care all that much, then you would be happy with where you are. In my mind, why wouldn't you try.
Diminishing returns.... I guess that depends on your definition. If you are talking about quantity, then yes. You will most likely prefer to dance with a smaller list of dancers. Obviously. But if you are talking about quality. Then no. There may be a small number of people that you really like to dance with, but the level of dance is going to be so much higher and there will be so much more nuance that you can put in the dance with them, that it is a better pay off in my mind than dancing all night without real connection and communication happening.
And I still hold by my statement of getting better means that you in turn are able to help the community get better.
So there - I've answered your questions. And perhaps others will answer your questions within your post with their views.
:-D
Often, I had a better time dancing a year ago than I do now: I sucked, badly, and didn't know it, but was having a wonderful time nonetheless.
Now all my bad habits and errors have been pointed out and I'm faced with the work of correcting them. It's hard to not obsess about my mistakes whilst dancing and just relax and have a good time out there!
In my case, ignorance really was bliss and the challenge of undoing my default is a hard road. Thankfully the results are beginning to show. Finding the patience within myself (and within those that dance with me) to allow me to make mistakes as I grow is not easy.
The experience happened to me too. When I am getting too good, the number of people I enjoy to dance with is getting less and less. It goes to a point where sometimes I don't want to go to a milonga any more, or stop to go for a while, hoping other dancers catchup. Don't get me wrong. I always make an efford to dance with those beginners who I think they have potential to be good dancers. Tango is not about only two people dancing, but also about the community. So it is important that the dance skills of the whole community are improving.
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